You're 2 and 5, figure it out yourselves kids!

How can I do less work as a parent, but not screw up my kids? Just kidding! (Sort of).   I recently read somewhere, in a parenting book, or parenting blog, about one approach to handling conflict between children.  Teach them how to handle the problem themselves.  Sounds simple enough, right?

For example, if my son runs over yelling, "Mommy! Momo hit me!"  I respond with, "Okay, what did you do?  Did you say, 'please don't hit me Morgan, it hurts?'  Remember, she is only 2, we have to teach her how to behave.  Go try that."

Now, if I actually see her hit him, and he hits her back, then I jump in, but first speak to him, (not her) and remind him to try telling her not to hit, instead of just hitting her back.   If the 2 1/2 year old comes up to me to tattle on my son for something, I should tell her to talk to him too, instead of disciplining him myself.

The whole idea is: teach them how to handle problems with other kids by talking to them, (versus a physical attack, their instinctual reaction), or by always tattling to a grown up.  Not sure what's happening at your house, but this is NOT what goes on normally at mine.  It's going to be a long, uphill battle, but if just occasionally they attempt to handle things themselves, and don't run to me, I will consider it a parenting win.  Another hope I have is that it will be a learned behavior they can take to school with them, to use with classmates as well.  Am I dreaming?  Quite likely.

Here is my 2 1/2 year old trying to deal with something her 5 year old brother is doing, that she doesn't like.


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